Thoughts on Avatar
Cullen and Steinkamp share some of their wisdom relating to the film Avatar, covering topics such as the nature of plant-based internet, dumptruck grinder things, and a possible use for unobtainium.
Steinkamp: So, Avatar: best movie ever?
Cullen: Not sure yet. The Golden Globes have shown us that its the best motion picture drama of the year. After the Oscars maybe we'll have a clear image of how great it really is.
Steinkamp: It should win everything, just like Titanic back in the day.
Cullen: Yeah man, hopefully. Well, Avatar's not nominated for as much stuff as Titanic was, but really I hope it wins best picture at least. It would just feel like some kind of coup if a sci-fi adventure film actually won that award. I mean, that's what James Cameron makes now; really long movies that make absurd amounts of money, and win tons of awards. And have a budget equivalent to a small nation's GDP - with most of that cash being spent on non-action scenes. I remember when Titanic came out, it was all about when the ship sank. Yeah, there was the romance-based story line going on, but just the visual of that ship sinking was nuts. They actually built a huge chunk of ship, and there was all that CG water and whatnot.
Steinkamp: I never even saw that movie.
Cullen: What the hell? I saw it in theaters, just like every person alive in the late 90s did. It's touching.
Steinkamp: All I know is there is a scene where he paints her in the nude.
Cullen: Yeah, that's what made it cool to see when you're in fourth grade.
Steinkamp: And they didn't show it in the televised version. That's the one bit I saw. Forget it
Cullen: :( I also remember a part where a guy shoots a pistol. Main antagonist dude who doesn't like Leonardo DiCaprio, because he likes Kate Winslet. Anyway, the gun was like a magazine fed semi-automatic pistol. At the time when I saw the movie I was like @_@. I thought they only had revolvers for pistols back in the Titanic times. Not sure why I even had that idea. Anyway, I realized later on that he had an m1911 .45
Steinkamp: lol good work.
Cullen: That's Naked Snake's gun. AND Old Snake.
Steinkamp: wowsa
Cullen: Yup. OK, guns - that's something else in Avatar. So it all takes place in the year 2154, and everyones still using regular old machine guns.
Steinkamp: Listen, it's just not going to get any better, we have to accept that. Energy rifles are not practical on a battlefield.
Cullen: Yeah well, they could have had like weapons that fire super-miniaturized rockets or something. The weapons they were using did make it feel more based in reality though. Also soldiers dont get any better equipped in terms of armor - they all go sleeveless to show their masculinity.
Steinkamp: Yeah, arms arent that important.
Cullen: I guess it could just be though that they're fighting giant dudes who use bows, so they're not equipped like they would be for battling men on Earth. All that tech was good though. Vehicles - they had like choppers, a really big chopper, and man-tanks.
Steinkamp: Yeah, but they were double choppers.
Cullen: That's how the future works.
Steinkamp: They had some giant dumptruck grinder things though.
Cullen: Oh yeah
Steinkamp: But those weren't very important.
Cullen: As big a mid-sized office building. I'm not sure what those actually did. I guess they're the mining trucks. That obtain the unobtanium.
Steinkamp: Yeah, thats something they didn't cash in on, a giant complicated scene showing the mining. cg $
Cullen: Basically they seemed like the badguy trucks in Fern Gully though; mostly they just eat trees and make smoke and grime.
Steinkamp: They crunch it all up so they can walk in their mechs.
Cullen: And then a corp profits.
Steinkamp: Yeah, evilcorp.
Cullen: Shouldn't there be some more interest in what's happening on Pandora beyond just the mining? Like, Sigourney Weaver is the only person actually doing research on the alien planet.
Steinkamp: I assume that this universe is like the Aliens universe. Humans are just all over the place mining or whatever, but nobody really cares about what's out there for the most part. Just go out there and mine.
Cullen: Yeah, mining for stuff. Some kind of stuff. Fuel, I guess. That has to be what unobtainium is - mech fuel; so everyone can drive their mechs to work back on Earth.
Steinkamp: lol yup
Cullen: OK, so when they found Pandora they couldn't have known about that junk right?
Steinkamp: The unobtanium?
Cullen: Yeah. They just found some planet with big cat-faced men, and when they went looking around they found those rocks, and decided to mine.
Steinkamp: I dunno, maybe they can scan.
Cullen: Yeah. Through Hubble and whatnot we can tell what planets are made of apparently. Like, if its got water, or an atmosphere, what kind of metals its made of. Right? And by we I mean they. Those guys.
Steinkamp: yup, I say they can probably at least short range scan from orbit.
Steinkamp: Ok, but sequel; what's it gonna be about?
Cullen: Some humans coming back probably. "We won. The aliens went back to their dying world." The end. I'm sure everyone on earth was like, "Sonofabitch. Well, those native aliens that we have no respect for did kick us out, so I guess we can't really go back and get our mech fuel."
Steinkamp: But that will just be the same movie.
Cullen: Well, it's gonna be on Pandora.
Steinkamp: yeah I guess so; they have made all those plants and shit.
Cullen: Yeah, they already spent tens of millions of $ creating all that. Can't build another planet.
Steinkamp: But same characters, or like umpteen years in the future, totally new story, when humans and avatars are bros.
Cullen: Maybe it'll be like Pocahontas 2. You ever seen that?
Steinkamp: Nope.
Cullen: The straight to vhs sequel of the disney movie. So, John Smith sides with the Native Americans in the first movie right? And then everything works out at the end. So in 2 he decides to take Pocahontas back to England, and shes like "Sure." But she doesn't fit in, and it causes turmoil. But Sam Worthington is now a Na'vi permanently so it can't go that rout. So forget that. Maybe it will be new main characters. There has to be a human main man. Sam Worthington is gonna be back too though.
Steinkamp: Well they could take a tamer route with like scientific enterprises and talk about the developed relation between Na'vi and humans. Oh, and big reveal about the plant brains - it's actually part of an intergalactic network. Wormholes, brain worlds.
Cullen: Oh, the naturenet. Nah man, that's like Gaia; contained to the planet.
Steinkamp: Well there needs to be some sort of reveal with that.
Culen: The plant network?
Steinkamp: Yeah like it actually knows something.
Cullen: Well it does have some brains, because it understands when it's asked to help fight against the humans that messing up the planet. It thought for a while, then ended up sending in the bird-lizards and rhinos.
Steinkamp: Maybe it gets some sort of brain disease and they have to stop it. Anyway, it's conscious. I'm sayin that it's going to have some gaia wisdom, or there's going to be some sort of problem with it.
Cullen: OkOk, but is it like the gaia is a singular being, or is it like the series-oftubes internets we have now? Like, does it just exist through all the beasts and trees and whatnot?
Steinkamp: It's like internets taken a step further; you've got an emergent ghost in there. That's what I think.
Cullen: Yeah, I gues they kind of aluded to that. So how did that fit in with te evolution on that planet? At what time did the microbes form a bodyless intelligence? Or maybe its like after there was trees they made their network. It does have something to do with that special tree with the jellyfish-seeds. That's the only place the Na'vi could log in with their spinal-cord hair.
Steinkamp: I don't know man. Emergent phenomenon, that's all you need.
Cullen: Yeah. Plus, I mean the whole point of that thing is "listen to nature." Also though, it communicated through all the beasts when it sent them to attack. Even theough they werent plugged in with their head wires.
Steinkamp: Yep.
Cullen: Quantum brain waves.
Steinkamp: Oh shit. New idea - Na'vi split up. Some group of evil Na'vi will rise up and use an unobtanium nuke.
Cullen: Well there are a lot of Na'vi types. Are there other manbases though? I'm telling you, there's going to be some men in there. Maybe like Base 2 on the other side of the planet. Or moon I guess. Na'vi though, there's a bunch of them, but we mainly see the tree based group. So, they aren't nomads, because they stick around their tree base, but it didnt seem like they had any famring going on. I don't remember it being shown at least - Na'vi tending fields of pink corn or whatever. So they're hunter-gatherers. But, if they had been around that tree for so long wouldn't they have hunted and gathered all of the junk around them to 0 by now?
Steinkamp: Nah dude, balance of nature.
Cullen: Oh, like gaianet brainhacks beasts and sends them to the big tree area so the Na'vi can eat 'em up.
Steinkamp: Point of interest: Na'vi are not shown eating. Maybe they don't need to eat.Actually they're not shown doing any sort of basic necessities. Only drink from a flower once and have sex.
Cullen: No dude, they arrow beasts. One shot, one kill. "Thanks for giving me your meats."
Steinkamp: Yeah, but they don't cook em up.
Cullen: Yeah, true. Maybe they just down em, then are like, "Thanks bro," then just leave it there.
Steinkamp: Then, do they not need foods?
Cullen: Ok. No. They eat, they have to. Just boring to see that on film I guess. But anyway, the way they have sex, it's good that it's the same as humans. The whole ritual of it. Otherwise it could have been awkward when Worthington starts making out with his gf under the mind tree. "Why are you putting your face on my face?"
Steinkamp: Yeah they could've added a few lols with that.
Cullen: Yeah really. Like they actually plug their head-tails together or something. But, their anatomy is 100% human, so why would they do that?
Steinkamp: Yup.
Cullen: Alright, so we need some aliens, and they're going to have to look close to humans so that people will relate to them as main characters." Ok, so take a man, make him blue, but he still looks like a man. Yeah so, make him the size of two men. Then give him three fingers instead of four. But then that would just look like a slightly incorrect man. So put a tail on him. Oh, but the most important alien is a woman, so she has to be hott.
Steinkamp: Oyah
Cullen: What's hot? Well, it has to be a little bit unnatural, so make her like a cat with those nice big eyes.
Steinkamp: Yup. well one thing you can say about Avatar 2 is that I'm going see it.
Cullen: Yeah duh. Everyone is going to see it. Best movie experience I've had in a long time. I wish I had a 3D TV. Good job ending this thing by the way. It flowed really nicely from the above conversation.
- Cullen and Steinkamp
Double-Joint
3:30 AM
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